12-28-15 Diets for the New Years Resoluter

Every year people are making New Years Resolutions as if it actually means anything. Oh, I won’t begrudge someone’s sincere intentions, but what is it about January 1^st that empowers folks to make promises they wouldn’t make any other time of the year? Personally, I believe this whole resolution-making thing is nothing more than a vast left-wing conspiracy to humiliate and disparage the population. Maybe it’s the right-wingers. Perhaps it’s both. In any case, the only thing that’s going to fly is your promises right out the window.

Now to be fair, some actually keep their resolutions. They represent the human being’s propensity to defy us naysayers. You know who those guys are. They’re the ones you can manipulate by being oppositional. Whatever they propose to undertake, tell them emphatically and with great certainty that they will fail. Then silently cheer them on as they prove you wrong. Great…